Is There Any Hope For A Broken Relationship?

coupleWhen a relationship breaks up it is often because either you or your partner have decided to end things.  Of course sometimes a relationship can end by mutual consent. But usually it is because one person becomes unhappy or dissatisfied and decides to end the relationship and the other person is left feeling lost, confused and very upset.

In some cases, although it may have been your partner who finally ended the relationship and even though you may be very sad and upset, you know deep down in your heart that things were not right between the two of you. And you feel that ending the relationship is really for the best.  You agree with your partner that its time to move on and go your separate ways.

Another scenario is where you are going along happy and content in your relationship, blissfully unaware that anything is amiss.  Then one day out of the blue your partner announces he is unhappy with the relationship and is going to leave you. This can really knock you for six and turn your world upside down. One of the most common reasons for a partner suddenly ending what appeared to be a perfectly happy relationship is because they have fallen for someone else.

So is there any hope for a broken relationship?  It may surprise you to know that whatever the reasons for a relationship breakup, there is always hope.  Some couples do decide to get back together again. After some time apart they begin to miss each other and realise that they have lost the love of their life. So they decide to try again and give their relationship a second chance.  Even if one partner has cheated on the other, couples have got back together again and built a successful relationship.

But if you have decided you do want to get back with your ex and give your relationship a second chance, you need to work out what went wrong in the first place. You need to sit down with your ex partner and be completely honest and open with each other.  You need to talk things through and not rush straight back into the relationship again.

Perhaps you didn’t take the time to talk to and really listen to each other.  It is so easy to become complacent when you are in a long term relationship and take each other for granted.  So do take the time and really try to find out where it all went wrong.

A good starting point is to think back to the beginning of your relationship.  There were obviously certain qualities you each had that attracted you to each other in the first place and made you fall in love.  What were those qualities and do you still possess them?  What was the point in relationship where things started to go wrong?  If you work back from the beginning and look for the things that started to go wrong along the way, you could get an indication of where it all went wrong.

If you don’t work things out and resolve what went wrong, the chances are that your relationship will break up again.  This time it could be for good.

If you would like some help to resolve your relationship issues, click on the link for some more Broken Relationship Advice.

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How Do I Cope With A Broken Relationship?

When your life is in turmoil and you are trying to cope with a broken relationship, its on your mind the whole time, all day and probably most of the night too.  You feel so weighed down by it that there is hardly any room in your mind to think of anything else.

So you are now asking yourself the question, “how do I cope with a broken relationship?”  Well the best way to cope is to remove yourself from the situation, if at all possible.  If you and your partner have separated then this will make things easier as you won’t have to face them every day.  Cut off all communication with your ex for the time being or if that is not possible, then keep contact to a minimum.

If you are still living with your partner,then this will make the situation much harder to cope with.  But if possible go and stay with friends or relatives for a few days. The purpose of having some time away from your ex is so you can clear your head and get a grip on yourself and your emotions.  It will also give your partner some breathing space as they are most likely stressed out and upset too.

While you are having this time out, make the most of it and look after yourself.  The aim here is for you to get your confidence back and start feeling good about yourself.  This is a great video by Christine Breese that has helped me a lot.

So go out with your friends and have some fun and a good laugh.  Splash out on some new clothes and maybe get your hair cut. Try some meditation, this will do wonders for making you feel more relaxed and calm.   Start to love yourself.  If you don’t love yourself, why should anyone else.

Once you are feeling more calm and relaxed you can then think about what to do next.  You have to decide if there is any chance that the relationship can be saved. Do you actually want to continue with it or would a break up be the best solution.

When you have spent some time apart from your partner you may start to miss them and they may miss you too. So if you both decide you want to try and work things out, then after having some time apart you should now be able to talk things over without getting so het up and emotional, which will put you in a much stronger position.  There is nothing more off putting to a member of the opposite sex than someone who is emotional and needy.  So be confident and strong.

But on the other hand, if you both or either one of you decide that its time to call it day, you should now be better equipped to at least be polite and civil with your ex partner.

Either way, having some time out and getting away from the situation will definitely make you stronger and better able to cope with a broken relationship.

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Should You Try And Find Your Long Lost Love?

lost loveIf you once had a broken relationship in the dim and distant past that still haunts you, should you try and find your long lost love ?  In my opinion no.  I say let sleeping dogs lie.

When I was very young I met a boy and fell in love. I was just 14 and he was 16.  I knew it was love because it felt so different from anything I had ever felt before. I had previously had a couple of boyfriends but none of them made me feel the way he did.

We met at a wedding but I didn’t really notice him until it was time to leave. I was standing outside with my friend and just as he was leaving I called out to him “don’t go”.  Why I said that I will never know because I was very very shy at the time.  Anyway, he turned around and came back.  We just stared at each other and started kissing and kissing.  He held me tight.  We ended up sitting on a bench in the street just cuddling. I remember it was a freezing cold night and I keep shivering. The more I shivered, the tighter he held me.

My friend had also “got off” with a boy from the party and they too were outside kissing and cuddling. We were staying with her aunt and uncle and her uncle came out and told us to come in the house. So all 4 of us went inside and we sat up all night.  I sat on his lap all night and I remember staring and staring at his face.

He went home in the morning. It was a big wrench when he left because we could hardly bear to be parted  I gave him my phone number and we started seeing each other.

Unfortunately he lived about 20 miles away from me, but he used to come and see me every Sunday.  I used to live just to see him.  I remember he aways wore a suede jacket and I remember that certain smell he had.

But the relationship broken down and it all ended in tears.  He got tired of having to travel up to see me and he didn’t have much money because he was still at school.  He wrote me a letter and I cried and cried.  I cried for weeks and I never forgot him.

Over the years I thought of him now and then.  I used to wonder if things would have turned out differently if we had met when we were a bit older.  Sometimes in my late teens I used to fantasise about meeting him again.  Other times I imagined he may have died young and that was why he never tried to find me again (I had read a book about a young lover dying). Yes I was very sad, but I was young and naive at the time.

So now 30 years later what with the internet and social sites like Facebook and MySpace, would I be able to find him again?  Maybe, but I wouldn’t want to.  He is probably a balding old codger by now lol.  Or maybe not.  Either way I think it would be a bad mistake.

Its like childhood memories, best to keep them in your heart and treasure them.  Sometimes when people go back to their old home town it can be a huge disappointment.  Everything has changed and everything looks so much smaller than you remembered. Perhaps there is no one around that you remember or that remembers you.  Now your beautiful memory is spoilt.

Of course there is another side to this.  I have heard that some people now easily find their lost lovers on the internet and are overwhelmed and surprised by their feelings. Old feelings can resurface and cause havoc.  They get addicted to their lost lover and all the long buried feelings come rushing back and catch them off guard.  Broken relationships and broken hearts can often be the result of people finding their lost lovers and ruining their current relationships.

So have you ever found your lost love and what was the outcome? Tell me your story.

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Is Your Broken Relationship Worth Saving?

SunsetCoupleWhen you break up with someone you love it really hurts.  You have all that history together and you remember all the good times you once shared and all the happy memories you have of your time together.  You feel so heartbroken and try to figure out what went wrong.

But sometimes a relationship ends simply because it has come to the natural end of its life.  I believe some relationships have a limited time, it doesn’t mean the relationship was bad or worthless, it can simply mean that you are now moving in different directions and want different things from life.

When I got married many years ago, I like many people, believed it would last forever.  I was young, in love and had romantic ideas about married life. As it turned out my marriage lasted for 18 years, which I think is not too bad by today’s standards.

Towards the end things got really bad between me and my ex husband and it was a relief when we decided to end it.  The marriage had been going wrong for a long time and despite trying hard to make it work, in the end things were too far gone and it had to end.  But once we decided it was over, we could then be friends and stop all the fighting.

Looking back I see the relationship as a time we had together that was limited and that was just the way it was meant to be.  We had good times and bad times.  I like to remember the good times and not be consumed with hate or bitterness.  Its not worth it.  We had our time together and then it was time to move on.

I cannot imagine still being married to my ex husband now, it feels like a lifetime ago.  And I feel like different person.

I think that is the reason why a lot of relationships break down and end.  People want different things at that particular period in their lives.

For example you could be dating some gorgeous guy and you feel like its time to get serious and you want more commitment.  You start applying pressure on him but he only wants a casual relationship so he eventually breaks up with you.  Perhaps a couple of years down the line he would have been ready for more commitment, but at that particular time he wasn’t.

Another time a relationship ends because you grow apart and just want different things out of life.  People change over the years, tastes change, points of view change and if you don’t change in the same direction as your partner, then it could mean the end of the relationship.

People often stay together out of habit.  You get so used to your partner being part of your life, it feels comfortable and natural.  Even if the couple are always fighting and arguing, it can become a way of life that is so familiar to them that they think its normal.

Being single again can be a bit scary.  You can get so used to having your partner to turn to and lean on.

But being single again can also be great.  You regain your freedom and can do just as you please.  There is no one to answer to but yourself.

The world is full of possibilities and other people.

So if you find your broken relationship is just not worth saving, then move on.

Be strong and enjoy being a single independent person again.

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How to Heal Your Broken Heart and Grow Strong

heal-broken-heartWhen you break up with your partner it is only natural for you to be feeling very sad and upset.  If you have been in a long term relationship it can be very tough, you feel that your world has fallen apart and nothing seems to make sense anymore.  So how do you heal you broken heart and grow strong?

Quite possibly in the time leading up to the break-up you may have been living through weeks and months of pressure and tension as the relationship has deteriorated.  If you have been hanging in there hoping against hope that things will get better and doing your utmost to make the relationship work, you are obviously going to be feeling very drained and exhausted.  You are now having to get used to living as a single person again after living as part of a couple.  This can be very traumatic too and leave you feeling lost and alone in the world.

The first thing you need to do is to get used to the fact that the relationship has ended.  You have to try and get your head around the idea.  Then you need to allow yourself to feel sad and upset, it is only natural after all.  Have a good cry and don’t be ashamed to cry.  Lock yourself away for a couple of days if you have to and indulge in pity party.  Eat chocolates, cry and have lots of sleep. it will make you feel better to let it all out and have a good cry. Ask a close friend to come round and keep you company if you don’t want to be alone.

After a while you will get tired of self pity and self indulgence and want to move forward.  Sometimes this is easier said than done.  I remember when I broke up with someone I really loved, I felt very upset for a long time.  I was in a bad way, I had just been made redundant from my job as well and felt I had no one in the whole world (this of course was not true but it felt like it at the time).  So I cried and cried, indulged in self pity, cut myself off from my friends and sat at home and moped around.

Then one day, I just got sick and tired of being sad and feeling sorry for myself.  I said to myself “why should I feel upset anymore”.  So I decided not to be upset and sad anymore.  I thought  “why should I let myself get like this?”.  So I got myself together and started to sort my life out and move forward.

I know this sounds too easy.  But sometimes it is. You just make a decision not to be unhappy.  Yes I do believe it is a decision you can make.

Of course this does not mean that suddenly everything will magically be ok again.  But it does mean that you can now begin to move forward and slowly pick up the pieces and get on with your life.

One good method I found was to adopt an attitude of gratitude.  Be grateful for every good thing in your life. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have (i.e. your partner) focus on what you DO HAVE.  Just start with small things.  Do you have enough to eat each day?  Do you have somewhere to live? Are you in good health?  Do you have a job?  Do you have good friends?  Do you have a loving family?  If so be grateful!

Be grateful to be alive, be grateful for the air you breathe, for the beautiful world in which we live.  We all have SO MUCH to be grateful for.  Study a beautiful flower, look at it closely. There is so much beauty in the world if you just look for it.

And remember, there is only room in your mind to focus on one things at a time.  It is up to you what you decide to focus on.  So in order to heal your broken heart and grow strong, focus on all the good things in your life.

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