First of all I want to say that you need to know that you are a very brave and strong person. In spite of suffering from depression yourself, you have still stood by your boyfriend and helped him to get over his addiction. Well done!

It sounds like your boyfriend is still in a bad place and is feeling very needy. But he should trust you by now. Perhaps you should have told him you were going to meet your ex boyfriend, but I wonder what his reaction would have been? You felt you needed to get out for a while and talk to someone, which is not surprising. You did nothing wrong in my opinion and should not be made to feel guilty.

You should ask yourself how you want to live your life. Do you really want to be tied to someone who doesn’t trust you and dictates who you can and cannot see?

I know you obviously love and care for for boyfriend, but you have only been together for 10 months and already you are having big problems. As you say you also have the worry that your boyfriend may have a relapse.

You cannot be held responsible for another person’s actions. My honest opinion is that you should cut your losses and move on. You have done your best by him and have help him through his addiction. It is now time for you to do what is best for you and get on with your own life.

Be strong, you deserve to be happy!

I wish you all the best.

Please, any advice would be helpful, especially from someone who’s not involved. Thank you.

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad and also your relationship problems.

Losing your dad has obviously been a really big upset for you and you will need time to come to terms with it. I am wondering if you have had anyone (besides your boyfriend) to talk to about it. Maybe you could consider some grief counselling? Losing a parent, especially one you were very close to, is bound to affect they way you look at life now.

I do think your boyfriend is being a bit selfish and insensitive to be arguing with you about your ex. He should try and get over his jealously by now. But then again, he does have the pressure of his new job to deal with.

I think you and your boyfriend need to find some time to sit down and talk to each other in a calm and relaxed way. Each of you should take turns and explain the way you feel about things. There has to be give and take and some compromise in all relationships.

Arguing and bickering all the time will get you nowhere.

Life and relationships change over time and the intensity of a new relationship is bound to settle down in time and bu6 hopefully it can become a deep mature love.

I understand what you are saying about not wanting to lose anyone or get hurt again, but just try and take one day at a time. Things often have a way of working themselves out in the end.

I wish you all the very best.

We have always had a real fun loving relationship and the chemistry between us just electric but since I lost my dad early this year and he started a more intense job, things have really gone downhill. He doesn’t show as much attention and affection because his energy goes into his job and I have felt really down since losing my dad and starting my last year at uni which I’m finding really stressful.

I really don’t want to lose the love of my life but we are constantly arguing at the moment, not a day goes by where we do not talk or argue about my ex husband… I find this really hard as that relationship is well and truly in my past but I’m forced to have him in my life still on a daily basis. I’m finding things hard too in that we were so loved up and my bf constantly made his feelings clear about how he felt about me but now even though he stills shows me some affection, it is nothing compared to before.

I don’t know if losing my dad has anything to do with the way I am feeling because my perception of my life seemed to alter when this happened and my dad was like my best friend. I don’t know if I am pushing him away as I lost my husband and my dad and so I do not want to let him get close so i don’t get hurt again.

Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks

It sounds to me that you have a trust issue with your girlfriend.

Research now days shows that taking the pill over long periods of time is not always a good thing for a woman, it can also lead to problems with fertility.

If you girlfriend is experiencing soreness during sex, then it is not surprising that she does not want to have sex very often. She should seek advice from her doctor.

I do not think that having a bag full of condoms is going to make your girlfriend be unfaithful to you. If she was that way inclined she would do it anyway.

I think the real problem is about your girlfriend going off to uni. Reading between the lines, I think you are scared of losing her when she goes away. But making accusations and causing arguments is not going to help the situation. You really need to sit down and talk to each other in a calm and rational way and be honest with each other.

I hope you can work things out between you both and I wish you all the best.

I am very sorry to hear about your relationship problems and I agree with you that it does seem very confusing.

The trouble is people do change. What they wanted at some stage in their lives, they may no longer want anymore.

You got on so well when you were abroad together but even though you say things were still great when you returned home, maybe the novelty has now worn off for your boyfriend.

You are both very young. Perhaps your boyfriend has decided he wants other things from life or maybe he just has cold feet about getting too serious in a relationship.

I am sorry I cannot be more helpful but it is difficult to know what another person is feeling. All I can advise is that you give him the space he is asking for and let him have some time on his own. I know this is very difficult to do when you are feeling so upset and emotional, but if you try to force things with him, it could push him further away from you.

So try and be strong and stay away from him until he is ready to talk to you. But don’t sit at home by yourself moping about him, keep yourself busy and maybe try have a girly night out with some of your friends.

I wish you all the best.

It is always heartbreaking when a wonderful relationship ends.

Your boyfriend is going away to work for a year and a lot can happen in a year. You are both still very young and I think it is asking a lot to expect him to make a commitment to you when he is going away for a year. There is a saying that if you love someone, then set them free. I think you should try and be very strong and tell him you agree to the breakup and let him go. Wish him all the luck in the world and then move on with your life.

Even though it will be very hard for you, I think this is the best thing to do. He has made his decision and really there is nothing you can do about it.

If you let him go with good grace, he will think very highly of you and you will both have the wonderful memory of your relationship to cherish.

Try and make some plans for your own future to look forward to. Turn to your family and girlfriends for support and you will get through this, I promise you.

Best of luck for the future.