When you break up with your partner it is only natural for you to be feeling very sad and upset. If you have been in a long term relationship it can be very tough, you feel that your world has fallen apart and nothing seems to make sense anymore. So how do you heal you broken heart and grow strong?
Quite possibly in the time leading up to the breakup you may have been living through weeks and months of pressure and tension as the relationship has deteriorated. If you have been hanging in there hoping against hope that things will get better and doing your utmost to make the relationship work, you are obviously going to be feeling very drained and exhausted. You are now having to get used to living as a single person again after living as part of a couple. This can be very traumatic too and leave you feeling lost and alone in the world.
The first thing you need to do is to get used to the fact that the relationship has ended. You have to try and get your head around the idea. Then you need to allow yourself to feel sad and upset, it is only natural after all. Have a good cry and don’t be ashamed to cry. Lock yourself away for a couple of days if you have to and indulge in pity party. Eat chocolates, cry and have lots of sleep. it will make you feel better to let it all out and have a good cry. Ask a close friend to come round and keep you company if you don’t want to be alone.
After a while you will get tired of self pity and self indulgence and want to move forward. Sometimes this is easier said than done. I remember when I broke up with someone I really loved, I felt very upset for a long time. I was in a bad way, I had just been made redundant from my job as well and felt I had no one in the whole world (this of course was not true but it felt like it at the time). So I cried and cried, indulged in self pity, cut myself off from my friends and sat at home and moped around.
Then one day, I just got sick and tired of being sad and feeling sorry for myself. I said to myself “why should I feel upset anymore“. So I decided not to be upset and sad anymore. I thought “why should I let myself get like this?“. So I got myself together and started to sort my life out and move forward.
I know this sounds too easy. But sometimes it is. You just make a decision not to be unhappy. Yes I do believe it is a decision you can make.
Of course this does not mean that suddenly everything will magically be ok again. But it does mean that you can now begin to move forward and slowly pick up the pieces and get on with your life.
One good method I found was to adopt an attitude of gratitude. Be grateful for every good thing in your life. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have (i.e. your partner) focus on what you DO HAVE. Just start with small things. Do you have enough to eat each day? Do you have somewhere to live? Are you in good health? Do you have a job? Do you have good friends? Do you have a loving family? If so be grateful!
Be grateful to be alive, be grateful for the air you breathe, for the beautiful world in which we live. We all have SO MUCH to be grateful for. Study a beautiful flower, look at it closely. There is so much beauty in the world if you just look for it.
And remember, there is only room in your mind to focus on one things at a time. It is up to you what you decide to focus on. So in order to heal your broken heart and grow strong, focus on all the good things in your life.