Should You Try And Find Your Long Lost Love?

By | Jan 21, 2010

lost loveIf you once had a broken relationship in the dim and distant past that still haunts you, should you try and find your long lost love ?  In my opinion no.  I say let sleeping dogs lie.

When I was very young I met a boy and fell in love. I was just 14 and he was 16.  I knew it was love because it felt so different from anything I had ever felt before. I had previously had a couple of boyfriends but none of them made me feel the way he did.

We met at a wedding but I didn’t really notice him until it was time to leave. I was standing outside with my friend and just as he was leaving I called out to him “don’t go”.  Why I said that I will never know because I was very very shy at the time.  Anyway, he turned around and came back.  We just stared at each other and started kissing and kissing.  He held me tight.  We ended up sitting on a bench in the street just cuddling. I remember it was a freezing cold night and I keep shivering. The more I shivered, the tighter he held me.

My friend had also “got off” with a boy from the party and they too were outside kissing and cuddling. We were staying with her aunt and uncle and her uncle came out and told us to come in the house. So all 4 of us went inside and we sat up all night.  I sat on his lap all night and I remember staring and staring at his face.

He went home in the morning. It was a big wrench when he left because we could hardly bear to be parted  I gave him my phone number and we started seeing each other.

Unfortunately he lived about 20 miles away from me, but he used to come and see me every Sunday.  I used to live just to see him.  I remember he aways wore a suede jacket and I remember that certain smell he had.

But the relationship broken down and it all ended in tears.  He got tired of having to travel up to see me and he didn’t have much money because he was still at school.  He wrote me a letter and I cried and cried.  I cried for weeks and I never forgot him.

Over the years I thought of him now and then.  I used to wonder if things would have turned out differently if we had met when we were a bit older.  Sometimes in my late teens I used to fantasise about meeting him again.  Other times I imagined he may have died young and that was why he never tried to find me again (I had read a book about a young lover dying). Yes I was very sad, but I was young and naive at the time.

So now 30 years later what with the internet and social sites like Facebook and MySpace, would I be able to find him again?  Maybe, but I wouldn’t want to.  He is probably a balding old codger by now lol.  Or maybe not.  Either way I think it would be a bad mistake.

Its like childhood memories, best to keep them in your heart and treasure them.  Sometimes when people go back to their old home town it can be a huge disappointment.  Everything has changed and everything looks so much smaller than you remembered. Perhaps there is no one around that you remember or that remembers you.  Now your beautiful memory is spoilt.

Of course there is another side to this.  I have heard that some people now easily find their lost lovers on the internet and are overwhelmed and surprised by their feelings. Old feelings can resurface and cause havoc.  They get addicted to their lost lover and all the long buried feelings come rushing back and catch them off guard.  Broken relationships and broken hearts can often be the result of people finding their lost lovers and ruining their current relationships.

So have you ever found your lost love and what was the outcome? Tell me your story!

7 Comments so far
  1. Grace January 6, 2011 10:06 pm

    Yes,we live in the same place.We see each everyday both non of us is ready to make the first move n we love eachother that am sure of.Am confuse on what to do,to let go or not.

  2. admin January 7, 2011 7:29 pm

    Hi Grace

    If you see each other every day – why not begin with simply saying “hello” and see what happens. If he stops to talk to you, why not suggest meeting for a coffee.

    My advice would be to keep things friendly and lighthearted and take it from there.

    Good luck.

  3. Lauren February 3, 2012 1:27 am

    Let me start off by saying I am very young (13 years old ) and I don’t think I know what love is yet. But in 5th grade, I met a boy who became my very close friend. He seemed to have a crush on me, but at the time, I was uninterested. He left at the end of 5th grade to another school and I never really got to say goodbye. We were too young to have any way to communicate, really. Now I’m in 8th grade, and I haven’t seen this boy in three years. But I think about him every day still. It just occurred to me that we were perfect for eachother. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again and I don’t want him to be the “one that got away.” advice?

  4. admin February 8, 2012 10:29 pm

    Hi Lauren

    My advice would be to keep the happy memory of this boy and leave it at that. I am sure that in reality things would be very different. People change and you are still very young.

    In time there will be plenty of other nice boys in your life, so put the fantasy of this boy behind you and look to the future.

  5. Angela March 8, 2012 2:36 pm

    My relationship broke down after my man was contacted by an old girdfriend from 35 years ago on facebook after some school reunion. They carried an online affair for ages and then his behaviour towards me deteriorated because he had “feelings for her” he said. So I let him go. Probably best for me you will say but I can tell you that facebook and school reunions have a lot to answer for….

  6. admin March 9, 2012 10:39 am

    Hi Angela

    I am very sorry that your relationship broke down. It is a very sad story.

    I hope in time you will meet someone new who will give you all the love and affection you deserve.

  7. freemanrockin March 12, 2012 12:37 am

    Well all I can say I did finally met and fell in love again with the girl of my dreams 30 years ago thru Facebook. I did not expect it at first but after finding out that we were both free to love again, I finally got the courage to tell her what i could not tell her thirty years ago and it feels that there was no time lost between us. We look forward to our future together with each other since we are continents apart right now. So I’d like you to know that there is hope in finding your long lost love after all. For me it was worth the wait, we met again at the right moment in time.

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